Zachery Hall

Zachery Hall is the elected official who presides over the city of Cobainia, capital city of Angstasia. Born of a poor family, Zachery got fed up with being poor one day, and decided to wander off to the big city to seek his fortune. While there, he befriended a man who had 20 Gold in his pocket and a guitar on his back. The man told him, "I ain't got much, but if I ever get much, I'll pull you up to the top." The man then proceeded to spend all but one gold on booze. Zachery didn't think the man would amount to much, but thanked him for his kindness, and went on his way.

Twenty three hours later, a man in lavish garments approached Zachery, saying that his presence had been requested. "Who, me?" Zachery asked. "Yes. You are Zachery Hall, are you not?" the man replied. Hurriedly, Zachery followed the man to a large tower in the center of town that had not been there when he arrived in town almost a day before. When they arrived at the entrance, the man asked him to proceed to the twenty third floor, where he would se welcomed. Zachery then attempted to loot the messenger of his zoot suit, but wound up killing him over the outfit.

So with a new set of clothes, Zachery walked into the monolithic high-rise and entered the elevator. As the elevator door closed, Zach noticed that there wasn't a 23 button. So he pushed 22, and took the stairs up. As he opened the door, there, across the room, sat the man he had seen the day before who spent all but one gold getting plastered. "How in the heck did you get here!?" Zachery exclaimed.

Slowly, the man lifted his head. "You know, you wouldn't believe the story if I told you. Regardless, I own this city now, and it needs a mayor. Are you interested?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're gonna tell me what happened out there. How in the hell do you own this city now? Didn't you just get here yesterday, same as I did?"

The man sighed softly, then began to speak.

"Well, I bought 19 beers, and started walking to the Great Market. I got halfway there, and I saw a beggar about to die of thirst, so I gave him one. He jumped up and hugged me, and then handed me his walking stick. I kept walking toward the market, and there was a guy limping in the opposite direction. I gave him the walking stick, and he handed me a sword. Further down the road, I saw two guys arguing, so I listened to see who was right, then killed the one who was wrong. The other guy ran away, but on the dead guy's body, I found a Rod of Wonder. So I pointed the Rod of Wonder at the guy, and 12 diamonds the size of my head popped out of the end of the rod."

"Whaaaaaaat!?"

"Yeah. I know, right? So I chugged a beer, grabbed the diamonds, and ran to the market. Luckily, it was high market, so I sold three of the diamonds, put the money in the bank, traded two more for ownership of the city, and used one to pay for the overnight construction of this tower."

"But how did they get it up so fast?"

"I think they paid someone to cast Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion, then used some sort of a worm hole to bring it into this dimension."

"That's impossible! No one's ever done that!"

"Sure I did. Anyways, do you want to be mayor or not? I can always give the position to someone else if you've found a decent job or something."

And that's how Zachery became mayor of Cobainia. Since becoming mayor, he has helped the city boom from a population of 250 to well over 300 million. Crime was nearly obliterated after he hired the Mafia to invent the "Banshee Wail in a Bottle" and then legalized them for private citizens to own. And this year, Zachery will be celebrating his 23rd consecutive term in office.